Sunday, September 23, 2012

Nothing Matters

Things will never change, no matter what you do. You try and change yourself once, the other side hates you. You try and change yourself twice, it still happens.

No matter what I try to do, it all comes down to people, and people are evil. Deep down, they all are, it doesn’t matter what they are on the outside. And I’ve seen the faces of the evil in people, oh, I have. And I hate it, I hate them, I hate this entire world.

I was walking home from school Friday and then it happened.. haha, should have seen it coming... Four guys, friends of Will's, probably, had been following me and when we were alone they started to harass me. They started saying how I was pathetic for making the blog, how I was an asshole, and then one of them, one with a birthmark right beneath his lip, clips me right in the nose. And then he starts kicking and smashing , and the others did nothing. They just sat and watched, looking on as I got the crap beaten out of me. And then they left me bleeding there on the road.
Got found... taken to the hospital. Found out I had a broken wrist, so you can imagine how tough it was for me to make that post the other night, eh? Hah... oh, and some bruised ribs and black eyes always look appealing...

Maybe I was wrong in making this blog… I... I regret it now... The whispers are back, the ones around school, and the people who I thought were supportive of me are just hiding behind their masks, acting like I’m in the right when they talk about me behind my back. I know, I see their looks. What is the point of making this in a fight for retribution when all it earns you is what you had before? Nothing… Nothing at all…

My dad was right all along. I won’t amount to anything, because I don’t matter. I regret so many things, so many damn things. I wish I had been more athletic to make him proud, wish I was interested in hunting or hiking or something like he is, but no- he considers me a failure. That’s why he doesn’t say he loves me anymore, why I haven’t heard those words in a long time. Three simple words could have such a significant impact, but no, there’s a refusal because of one thing:

I'm a failure.
timetoplay

17 comments:

  1. It's not too late. Even for a guy like you.

    If you get running now, maybe you won't be totally screwed.

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    Replies
    1. Running from what? My dad? Yeah, right.

      Delete
  2. No, you're not.

    Let me repeat that:

    No, you're not.

    You are not a failure, and you WILL amount to something. Tell yourself that, Vincent.

    You have made some questionable decisions, and maybe you aren't being the nicest you can be. But you're not going to be doomed forever for that, Vincent. You. Are. Not. A. Failure.

    I have doubted myself at some points in my life, hating myself for lashing out at others. I've wondered if, perhaps, I was some heartless monster because of my trouble feeling sympathy for others. Because I couldn't bring myself to care.

    Vincent, no matter what you have done, you are not a failure. Nobody is. You're just a teenager. You have your entire life ahead of you to turn things around. You might even do something great in life one day.

    Please, don't call yourself a 'failure'. Don't say you don't matter, because you do, at least to someone. Don't give in, don't give up.

    And, Vincent, if you ever need somebody to talk to, just remember that I'm here.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny... you're the first person to tell me that, and you're some stranger online... How do I know you're not just telling me what I want to know, huh? Or just telling me stuff and then later going to abandon me?

      Delete
    2. I wouldn't abandon you, Vincent. I'm not a coward, and I would not leave somebody hanging like this. I wouldn't harm somebody in that way. Before now, maybe. I've changed a lot in the past few months, and sometimes I still struggle with connecting to people on an... emotional level. A lot about myself remains a mystery, even to me. But I do know that I'd never run out on somebody. Never.

      Delete
    3. I'd.. yeah, I guess I'd like someone to t

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    4. how noble of you to reach out to vincent in his hour of need.

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    5. Oh, so it's Vincent's little possessor now, is it? How kind of you to hit "publish" for him. It still amazes me that you can get through CAPTCHA.

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    6. And of course if some random person on the internet isn't enough that Vivian girl seems to like you...

      You should totally get closer to her. She'll make everything better I'm sure.

      -The Liar

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    7. In case you haven't noticed, Vincent is kind of busy being - oh, I don't know - possessed?

      I doubt he's stupid enough to trust somebody named "The Liar" anyway.

      At least you tried!

      Delete
    8. Liar speaks truth. Who would have thought?

      Anyway, ignore everyone bar Lair and give into your anger. You will find explosive results. >:D

      In anger you will find strength. But the cost will be great.

      I feel like I should be more cryptic but my mask is slipping.

      ~INSANITY

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    9. you assume too much about Us in thinking We need physical means to communicate with your kind.

      as for the young virus it will be necessary to get closer to her in time but for now it will keep its distance and i will keep mind.

      Delete
  3. I know that if I say anything about the fears, He's not gonna let you see it. But I'll still try. Vince you REALLY have to go see Sarah. She's in the exact same boat as you, and you have a better chance of survival together.

    And here's my reply to the one who thinks he owns you: Now I know who you are, and I agree, humanity has given you too many names. So in typical Cthulu taunting fashion, here's a new one.

    He can still fight you off, Smokey the Bear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remember, Vincent, only you can prevent forest fires!

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    2. that is a new one but i still like Atheres better.

      but that is because it was the first name given to me in this kingdom.

      as for sarah she will be taken care of in time.

      Delete
  4. In my defense I had intended that to be posted quite a bit earlier than it eventually was.

    As for the name. It's a bit of a misnomer. I don't lie. Ever.

    There's no reason to lie when the truth can cause so much more suffering.

    -The Liar

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    Replies
    1. the truth can set you free as the old saying goes.

      which one of Us made that one i cannot remember.

      Delete