SID

When I heard someone upstairs, I thought it must have been Vivian and Daniel returning.  I started walking up the stairs and then my bat comes swinging from around the corner. The next thing I know, I’m falling down the stairs (I'm still surprised that my neck isn't broken). For a split second, I remember us taking control and getting up, but the bat came down again, and then we were out. I could still hear things going on around me – Tyler yelling at Becca to grab something, another thump after the bat connected with Tyler and sent him to the ground.

When I could finally concentrate again, I was looking up at a man in a black business suit and a mask that was completely blank, with only two eyeholes and a slit for the mouth. In one arm, he was cradling Lois’ child – in the other, he was carrying a kitchen knife.

Five chairs had been arranged in the room, all facing him. The others were tied down by a black cord. I saw Tyler was beginning to wake up, as well, though he looked out of it due to the large welt across his face. The only other person who looked like they had fought back was Lois, with a black and blue mark right below her left eye.

The bastard looked around the circle and examined each of us. When his eyes rested on me, I swear that the mask looked like it was smiling. He walked over to the couch and placed Lois’ daughter on it, just letting it cry the entire time. Then, he turned to all of us and spread his arms out. “So, who wants to go first?”

He was just staring at us expectantly, almost like we were supposed to do something. We didn’t have gags, so I assumed he was waiting for one of us to start screaming for help. But no one spoke, just kind of looked at him like he was nuts.

He walked back over and stood on the very edge of the circle. “Group therapy,” he replied in this matter-of-fact tone, like we should already know that.

But, that got everyone’s attention. “What are you talking about?” Will asked.

“I’m talking about… letting it out. Relieve some tension."

"No." I surprised myself when I said that, half-expecting the other one to take full control - but it wasn't them, it was just me. SID looked over at me, and I think we knew what the goal was - this wasn't about some group therapy, this was about getting me to talk. I think that's what it was. Hoping. hope.

“It’s not going to happen,” I replied. SID didn’t respond, just kept looking at me, his eyes seeming to say Is that all? “It’s not going to talk. Not to you, or Vivian. Even if you kill one of them." I tried me best to smile at him, trying to make him go ahead and get it done with, if he was going to kill one of them.

"I'll have to settle for you, then."

I hadn’t expected that response. I tried thinking of something to say as SID came closer, waving the knife in my face. "Koschei - you mentioned it on your blog. Want to know who it is?" I didn't respond, didn't know how to respond, so I got that odd feeling he was smiling at me again. "You sure? He sent me, you know - came to ask for a meeting."

"A meeting?"

SID shrugged. "More or less. He doesn't want to meet with you specifically, but hey, I'm not here to argue with him." Placed the knife on our shoulder. "So. Want to know or not? I haven't got all day." All I had to do was incline my head just a little bit and SID took that for an answer. "Oh, good! Well, fine - this Koschei? The thing who you should already know, Smokestack? It's the old man. And he wants to meet with you - soon, before anything drastic."

Though I had little to no idea what he was talking about, I asked him "Where?"

"Date and location will be provided at a later time - all he needed was the confirmation."

SID gave me that expectant look again, like I should know what he wanted, or know what was coming next. When I didn't say anything, SID took a step back and shook his head, wagging the knife at me like you would a finger.

“You haven't noticed yet - or have they not let you? Well, let me say this - Koschei is not the only one who wants something from you.

"Forget about this feud with Lois – it’s pointless and downright embarrassing to see your Atheres have to put itself so low as to deal with a teenager.” SID paused and brought the knife closer to my face.

“First, deal with the two who are protecting Lois’ friend, Sarah. They’re in a motel, just outside of town – apartment twenty-nine. If you wanna kill Sarah, well, why not? She's not part of the deal.”

“Why them?"

“Both have managed to survive and actually wound two... Ah, what the hell, Fears. What makes you think they’re incapable of killing a runt like you? Take them out, and then we can focus on the big picture."

Before I could say something, though, I heard someone else speak using my voice. “And after that?”

SID bared his teeth underneath the mask in a gleeful grin. “Then we burn this town to the ground.”

Let it not be said that I’m inconsiderate. I posted Vinnie’s incomplete account of today’s events, didn’t I? Ah, well. He can go back and edit it later if he so wishes.

Unfortunately, Vivian and Daniel will be unable to join us for tonight’s festivities. However, we do have five lucky contestants (six, counting Smokestack), all willing to spill their mind in one way or another.

Now, if you’ll excuse me.

- SID

They’ve been gone since last night and neither Tyler or Becca knows where they’ve gone. I’ve tried calling several times, but NO. How hard is it for one simple phone call? And do they even know how hard it is to restrain myself from going in Lois’ room and breaking her neck? I mean… I had enough trouble with stopping myself when they first got here. Becca’s been trying to keep me calm, and has done a good job at that… Tyler, though? He’s a damn psychopath. Sure, he’s between me and Lois’ door – sits right in front of it, actually! – but he’s been drumming on her door, yelling taunts at her, saying how he’s going to “get the kid” if she doesn’t stop crying…

I tried getting him to stop because it was getting on my last nerve, but he just smiled at me. When Becca, who normally manages to keep Tyler under control, tried speaking to him, he started shouting at her, saying she should mind her own business and to leave him be. And, sometime between all of this, he managed to get one of the kitchen knives and has kept it near him.

That’s not even the end of it, either – Becca’s tried getting food for both Will and Lois, but each time she’s tried to do so Tyler’s stopped her. “They don’t get a scrap until they’ve come back,” he’s said.

Now, Becca’s talking to Tyler to find out what the hell is the matter with him. I’m hearing snatches of conversation, like “Keeping him away” and “It’s him”. Well, not my fault that whatever’s in me is causing it. Trust me, if I could take a walk, I’d go for it.

If he keeps it up, I may

Damn it.

Of all days… I mean, it had to be today, didn’t it?

Daniel and I had run out to retrieve the stuff I had taken with me after that night with my parents. What I really wanted was my dad’s rifle – even though it serves as a reminder of him, it’s still nice to have due to the things happening in our town.

The place I hid for a few days is back in the woods, in this old cabin that lies in the middle of nowhere. There’s an old dirt path that leads to town, but I’m confident that no one uses it. The cabin looks like it hasn’t had anyone living in it for a while, so I thought it was the perfect place to hide.

When we got there, the place was just as I remembered it. Empty of everything – no vines clung to the sides, no animals nested within. It was kind of eerie stepping in there, but Daniel’s company made it better than the other times I had been there alone. He seemed more quiet than normal, though – maybe he was as creeped out as I was. As I gathered my things from what I believe was once the living room, Daniel broke the silence with an uneasy “We should go.”

“… I know. I’ve got my stuff right here.”

Daniel shrugged his shoulders and stared out the window. The sun was already starting to go down and darkness was falling. Earlier, I remembered him saying something along the lines of not wanting to be there after dark. I nodded towards the door. “Alright, time to go.”

There’s a door that leads down into the basement that sits right by the front door. I’d never cared to notice it before now, but when I stepped in front of it something made me stop. I looked down into that darkness and swore I saw something hunched just at the foot of the stairs, looking back up at me. Daniel called from outside and got me moving away from that door before I could go down.

Things were silent between us until Daniel, again, broke the silence by asking me why I hadn’t brought the rifle with me to the hospital. Heh… I explained that to him by saying that I had gone to get some food and was trying to be discreet while I was in town, so I had only kept the baseball bat on me. When I checked Sarah’s blog, well… It was some stroke of luck, I guess. Any other night and I would have missed the post.

When we were off the dirt road and heading back towards Vivian’s, that’s when it happened.

We had just come to a halt at a stop sign when this idiot came out of nowhere and slammed into Daniel’s bumper. It sounds worse than what actually happened; not a lot of damage, but just enough for a lot of repairs.

Daniel kept swearing as he examined his car while this kid who looked like he had just gotten his license stepped out. The poor guy was a nervous wreck and kept apologizing, saying that his brakes were bad and whatnot. “I don’t want your damn apologies, asshole!” Daniel shouted.

“Daniel, calm down,” I said.

The kid stepped forward and tried to talk, but Daniel cut him off. “’Calm down’? Do you realize how hard that is when-” He stopped and scowled, turning back to his car. The kid again tried to say something but stuttered over his words.

And then… just, DAMN IT.

“Look, I’ll call the police,” the kid finally said, taking out his phone. And… upon hearing the word ‘police’, I ended up decking him right in the face, probably breaking his nose. Blood started spewing like a faucet as the kid landed on the ground, groaning.

Daniel at first just stared at me in shock. “Uh, Vincent… May I remind you that we’re trying to keep a low profile?”

He was going to call the police. We would have been found out after that.

The other driver was starting to get up, moving towards the car. I think he had started to put two and two together, because when he looked at me I could see the recognition in his eyes. Daniel moved over to him and wrapped a hand around his neck, pulling the kid over to the back of his vehicle. Daniel shifted his eyes to me and… something changed in him, like how he had been at the house. “Open the trunk,” he said.

When I had done so, I saw the kid being forced into the back of his car. I could hear his frantic beating and yelps as the trunk closed. Daniel came around to the driver’s side and hopped in, giving me instructions to take his car back to Vivian’s. When I asked him what he was going to do with the kid, he got this vacant look in his eyes. “I’ll take care of him,” Daniel replied.

About thirty minutes ago, Daniel came back with blood all over his shirt. He didn’t speak to anyone except Vivian, and they kept their conversation to themselves. After a few moments of their quiet conversation, they both left the house.

I… I hope that the kid isn’t dead. That sounds odd coming from me, doesn’t it? But that kid doesn’t deserve to die, not for hitting Daniel’s car or recognizing me as a killer…

… Just… damn it. Why’d that have to happen?

Next Up!

Daniel here. Vincent’s given me the password to his account so that I can update the blog when he’s not around. Such a swell guy, isn’t he? Aside from being an asshole sometimes, but HEY. Not a lot we can do about that.

First off, a message to this ‘SID’. We won’t mess with you, and in return we expect you not to screw with us. I don’t give a damn who you are – you do not come into our territory and act like you own the place. Oh, and thanks for breaking Tyler’s wrist, jackass.

Second, Lois and Will have joined the party! We’ve given them a warm reception by locking the bitch in one of the basement’s many bedrooms. And, now that she’s here, Rebecca can finally catch a break. I mean, damn, she’s probably had the worst job out of all of us. I can’t handle children... Not after the first few times.

Finally, the police! You’d think they’d check the areas where Vince would most likely be, but nope! They’re morons. Viv’s thinking that one of the Others is diverting their attention, though. And hey, if they are, I am fine with that! The less attention our little group gets with the local authorities, the more time we’ll have to set things up.

Expect more updates from me in the next couple of weeks, friends. I can tell you all are so happy about that.

P.S. Am I the only one that thinks this blog set-up is really boring? I mean, damn, Vincent, at least make it aesthetically pleasing.

Inside Us

The past few weeks have been kind of a blur. Between keeping the thing inside me from destroying everything and dealing with my injuries, I’ve been learning about these… beings. I’m not sure what’s the best term to apply to them – Sarah calls them Fears and demons, while Vivian calls them the Others… but before we get into that, let me back up.

When I woke up the day after the hospital incident, it was about six in the evening. The room was a bit small and looked to be in a basement; there were clothes stacked on the dresser and there was a broken mirror on the floor, propped up against the wall. In the other room, I could hear a TV and some talking.

I walked out and found myself in a den. A sofa was in the middle of the room, with an entertainment center pushed against the wall. There was another couch pushed against the wall farthest from me, and there was a small kitchen area to my left. Daniel was reclining on the couch while Tyler was playing Fallout: New Vegas. Becca was in the far corner with something in her lap.

What little conversation there was ended when I entered the room. They all stared at me as if I was going to punch a hole in the wall or something. There were a few more moments of awkward silence until Daniel smiled at me. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

Daniel moved over so I could have a seat on the couch. I asked how long I was out and where I was.

“Well, you woke up around nine, but that was only for a few seconds and you were screaming at the top of your lungs.” Tyler frowned. “Which also woke all of us up.”

“His snoring woke me up long before that,” Daniel said, looking back at me and grinning. Tyler started laughing but toned down after Becca cleared her throat. He nodded to her and looked back at me.

“This is Viv’s place, by the way. Make yourself at home – we certainly have.” Tyler leaned towards me. “Just don’t make any loud noises, okay?”

“Vivian doesn’t like loud noises?”

“Not Vivian. The baby.” He nodded towards the bundle on Becca’s lap.

I hadn’t known about Daniel kidnapping Lois’ child before that, so I asked about it and they told me the whole story, how Daniel and Tyler had made their way to the hospital before me and taken the matter into their own hands.

“Why does Vivian need the child?” I asked them, but neither of them could give me a clear answer. Daniel said I should talk to Vivian, who was upstairs. I hung around a bit more, watching Tyler kill some more enemies in his game before I went up.

I could hear water running when I got near the top of the stairs. I poked my head through the door and found myself in the main kitchen. Vivian was over by the sink, looking like she was doing the dishes. I started to approach her, almost saying something, when I heard her crying. I didn’t say anything, not wanting to catch her at a bad time. I began backing up when I hit a chair with my foot. She stopped what she was doing and looked over her shoulder at me. Her eyes were red from where she had been rubbing them with her sleeves.

“Sorry,” she murmured, turning off the faucet and looking back at me.

“About?”

She shrugged her shoulders and turned her eyes to the ground. “Didn’t mean anyone to catch me like that. I’m usually more composed.” She straightened and turned to me. “Glad that you’re awake, though. How are you feeling?”

“Apart from the burns and bruises? A little bit hungry.”

She started laughing and looked over at the door. “When I’m done, I’ll get us something to eat.”

“Right… I was hoping I could talk to you about something first, though.” Vivian eyed me, and I could tell she seemed a little wary. I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling a bit awkward just standing there. “Could you explain what’s going on?”

And for the next two hours or so, she did. We sat down at the kitchen table and talked about the things – the Others – and the reason why it was happening to us. She didn’t know why in my case, but knew with certainty why she was there.

“It was a while back… about a year and a half, maybe two years. I was… stupid. I wanted a boyfriend,  but none of the guys I knew would date me because I wasn’t… ‘pretty’ in their eyes.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I was desperate and started looking in the wrong places. I met a guy who made me feel like I was worth something, made me feel like I was special. My first boyfriend,” she muttered under her breath. Vivian took a deep breath. “One night, instead of going to a movie we went over to his place. And…” Her eyes opened and turned to me. “We hooked up a few more times after that, but after he left me… well, he never really left me.” She stood up and walked over to the sink, pulling out one of the knives and slashing herself across the wrist.

I stood up, shocked. I was about to rush over to her, get her to stop, but her wrist didn’t bleed. The knife was bloody, but no blood seeped from the wound. Vivian was silent as she dropped the knife into the sink. She looked over the wound she had given herself. “I thought I was pregnant, you know. Told him, but he didn’t believe me. Said it was impossible. And… he was right.” Vivian gave me a half-smile. “They’re calling it the ‘Red Cap’ – some sort of bloodlike goo that makes itself home in your body. It has its benefits, I suppose… it heals the vessel it’s in over a shorter amount of time, and as you can see… I can’t really bleed out. Still hurts, though.

“But there’s so many downsides that I noticed after the first week alone. You must know what it feels like when you wake up in a place that’s unfamiliar to you because it happened to you not too long ago. When that happened to me the first time, I woke up at school during an English test. The next time, I was waking up in some stranger’s car – apparently, I had been hitchhiking. And then… there are times, even now, where I don’t feel like myself, like I’m watching someone else use my body. Do you ever feel like that?” I nodded, remembering the night before. Vivian shook her head as she sank into her chair. “It doesn’t even feel like before, when I’d black out and be somewhere else. At least then I still knew there was a side of me that was… well, me.

“Now, though… Whenever I look in a mirror, I can’t recognize myself. I’m… losing who I am to this thing, and that scares me a lot more than not being able to bleed out, or waking up somewhere else.” She started shaking, as if she were about to cry again. “And the worst part, Vincent, is that I can’t even fight it anymore. Whatever it wants, it simply has to put the thought in my head. It wants Lois’ daughter for some reason, but I still don’t know why. It wants more followers like the ones downstairs, but I don’t know what it’s planning. All I know is that, this past year… It’s been using me, putting thoughts into my head, in order to build up to something big… and that child downstairs is the centerpiece to all of it.”

I’ve since thought about what she’s said, and it sounds like whatever is inside me is like the ‘blood’ throwing through Vivian’s veins. It’s trying to get me to do something, I know that much, but it’s all unclear. What Vivian said about thoughts being put into her head – that’s happening to me, too, but they’re not making any sense. It’s like blurred images, or single words that have no correlation with each other. For instance, the two I’ve heard most often has been ‘war’ and ‘Koschei’. War is simple enough, and I think that’s what this thing wants – to spread violence using me to initiate a domino effect. But Koschei? It doesn’t make any sense.

For now, though, I can relate to Vivian, even if she is more far gone than me. And, for whatever reason, it seems like both of the beings inside us are cooperating with each other, unlike the one I fought with at the hospital. Maybe I should be grateful for that.

Looking Back

Today was amazing.

It was the first day I’ve been able to get out of the house ever since that night. That first week was horrible… ever since They were let out, They’ve been trying to escape, to cause another hospital incident. And… I wanted that to happen. It feels good when they take control. The best thing to describe it is like when you are really angry and you’ve just won an argument. That moment of triumph when all you want to do is show everyone how amazing you are…

But… it’s been hard to keep it in control. Sometimes, We end up letting go and they rise up just enough to begin talking, but I’m trying to keep it handled. I’m not… immortal, like They claim to be. I’m damaged like everyone else – my fight with the being it calls Death is proof of that. And, I just have this feeling that if I let go again, I’ll end up doing something terrible.

Like before…

Which reminds me, I do not appreciate my past being uploaded on here. There are some things I’d rather keep to myself, and my brother’s death was one of those things. Since I can't do anything about it now, though... You all deserve some sort of explanation.

Adam and I used to explore the woods behind our house all the time. At first, we stuck around the part closest to our house, but we eventually got curious and started journeying farther and farther away. When we weren’t exploring, we were playing some sort of game, like tag or sword-fighting with sticks. We’d pretend we were epic adventurers out to save the world, and battled imaginary foes side by side…

One day, we were at a place we had discovered a few days before. It was, by far, the best spot we’d found for our games. It was on a large hill, with a rocky outcropping that acted as the cliff where we threw the bad guys off the side. That day, I was pretending to be our villain, and I was just… I got to into it. I started teasing my brother, saying he couldn’t win… Adam wanted to prove me wrong, I guess. He wasn’t really angry, just… wanted to win. He swung hard and ended up striking me in the hand. I dropped the stick and for several moments I just stood there. My brother asked me if I was okay, said he was sorry, but all I wanted to do was just to hurt him as he had hurt me.

I walked up to him. He must have seen some look in my eye, because he started to back up… I grabbed him and threw him against the side of the hill. He must have hit his head or something, because he grabbed the side of it and started crying. I… I stormed off, walking back in the direction of our house.

But my brother was young, and he depended on me to get him home. So… when I left him… he didn’t know where to go, didn’t understand that he should have stayed put and waited for someone to find him.

They found Adam a few days later. He had wandered all that time in the wrong direction…

Mom never really got over it… and Dad… the look he gave me…

A few months after the funeral, I was doing my homework… trying to forget. My dad came into my bedroom and just stared at me for awhile with this expression on his face… one that said “This is your fault.”

Their attitude became worse over the years… my dog, Brady? Well… he wasn’t just my dog. My parents got him for Adam and me when we were really little… when Adam passed away, Brady was seen as another reminder of a bad memory. I guess that’s another reason why Brady was put down...

Mom became distant over the years, and Dad… well… I’ve told you all about him. They never forgave me… I don’t blame them for that, since I’ve never forgiven myself… But I wasn’t happy. I had to deal with them for years, had to deal with the silence, the passive aggressive statements…

I’m glad they’re dead.

And I’m sure you all can infer from SID’s post that I eventually worked up the nerve to tell someone my secret and they stabbed me in the back by telling everyone about it, so I don’t feel the need to explain myself on that end.

Does it justify what I’ve done? No. I’ve made some wrong decisions, and that’ll happen the rest of my life… what’s left of it, at least. But I’m not going to make some excuse to justify myself killing Lois. I’ll kill her for the same reason I killed my parents, and that’s because some people need to learn that they can’t treat others in a degrading way and not expect some consequences.

October 14th

It’s been hard to find the words to describe what happened that night. At a few points, my… our memories are blurred, while others we can recount clearly. What we wouldn’t give to just forget all of it and pretend it never happened, but given the situation now… I… we don’t see that happening.

We’d been following Sarah’s blog for a few weeks. We didn’t mention anything about it before because  we wanted to know what she said behind our back… But if she knew we watched her blog, that wouldn’t happen. And though she didn’t live up to our expectations, we did acquire some information from her blog. One, her friends wanted to kill us for having ‘something’ inside us; Two, Sarah had Others following her; And three, the time and day when Lois was going to give birth. It wasn’t the smartest thing Sarah had done, posting that stuff on her blog, but we shouldn’t complain. It helped us.

The police were looking for us after the… event at the house. Our face had been broadcasted to just about everywhere in that part of the state, so we thought it was better to take our time in arriving at the hospital rather than getting caught because of a reckless decision. But as soon as we walked through those doors, it didn’t really matter.

When we walked through the doors, we immediately saw a man in the waiting area who didn’t belong. He was unshaven, clothes were dirt-ridden and tattered, and he looked like he hadn’t had a decent meal in months. His attention was focused on the television, but as soon as we walked in, he looked up and knew who we were, probably identifying us by our mask. He started to shout, actually taking a gun out of his pocket – even managed to get a shot off - but we were too quick for him. We had crossed the distance between us and him and knocked the gun out of his hands before kicking him in the stomach. He collapsed very quickly.

By then, the hospital staff was starting to call out to people, trying to get their attention, maybe get some help. It didn’t help, of course. We ignored them, passing through the doors leading to the stairs.

And what a coincidence that we’d come face-to-face with William on the stairwell.

We’re kind of amused and horrified when we think back to his expression of horror. He had gone as pale as a ghost and was sweating like a dog. We wanted to kill him right then and there, but something held us back. We instead grabbed his throat and threw him against the wall. “Where is she?” we asked.

William just shook his head, saying he didn’t know. We raised our bat over his head, ready to crack his skull.  I repeated my question. He started blubbering, saying that Lois was on the third floor. He begged us not to kill him. And then, something odd happened. In our head, we can picture the scene… but we only hear echoes of words.

“I’m not talking about Lois.”

In our head, we see William’s face contort in confusion… and then understanding… then there’s nothing. There’s just a blur for a few moments... And then we are walking up the stairwell, leaving a broken William behind us.

When we got to the third floor, people were already running about, trying to figure out what was going on. Some saw us and ran in different directions, while others looked at us in confusion. And there were some… we didn’t know why at the time, but they attacked us. Not the hospital staff, either; the patients, some with wounds on them from a grievous injury. They’d come one-by-one towards us, always appearing from behind a corner. And they’d never go down with just a hit with the baseball bat; they didn’t even seem to feel it. We think that’s why we used the … the other part of us.

We’re not sure what it is, but we started to feel it inside us then. Something… running through us, escaping. Smoke, we think, but we didn’t cough or choke when inhaling it. But when this smoke drifted past someone else, their skin blistered and burned. Sometimes, the smoke even entered through an opening in the attackers, burning them from the inside. We know they weren’t actual living people but their looks of pain seemed genuine.

We became aware of the sprinklers going off after a time. That brought part of us back to reality, showing us what things looked like. A few fires had started, and blood, bits of flesh, and bone were running together in the water. We could hear screams throughout the hospital, and occasionally we’d see the odd person running around, looking for an exit.

It occurred to us that Lois and Sarah would have attempted to get out, and since there’s a parking garage connected to the hospital… We thought that was our best bet in finding them. And, as it turned out, we were right. We found them in one of their cars, ready to leave.

Lois looked tired and out of her mind, probably because of the painkillers they had given her. Sarah, on the other hand, seemed… calm. She was scared, that was obvious, but she didn’t look hysterical like the people we had seen around the hospital.

We started to walk towards their car, but stopped halfway when a man blocked the way. He was dressed in a firefighter’s uniform, except the baggy jumpsuit was a soot black and the gas mask was the only thing covering his head.

“I get it. A ‘guardian angel’, is it? That’s what you’ve become?” we heard ourself say.

We saw Sarah and Lois leave out of the corner of our eye, but our attention was focused on the Other in front of us. We couldn’t see its face, but we could feel its gaze. It was standing rigidly, an axe in its hand. We stood there for a few moments, just taking each other in, and then… We started to hear it speak.

But speak isn’t the right term. We… could hear this multitude of voices in our head, all speaking at once and asking the same thing:

“What are you doing?”

We gave it an answer: we rushed it, swinging the bat at where its lower jaw should be. A foolish move, in retrospect, but we weren’t about to stand there and have a staring contest for several hours. Its left hand reached up and caught the bat in mid-swing, took it from our hands, then tossed it to the side. We were surprised by the fluidity of such actions, and that allowed it to gain an advantage over us by punching us in the gut and then kicking us to the pavement.

“What are you doing?” it asked again, looking down at us. It infuriated us to be belittled by Death; we could feel the smoke trying to rush into it, to consume it, but it was no use. The gas mask prevented us from getting in.

Death brought down its axe at our chest while we were trying to recover our breath. We saw it at the last moment and rolled to the right. Seeing that we were still a little off-balance, it kicked us in our right side, dropping us to the ground yet again.

We moved back inside the body and our vision began to blur again. We could feel ourselves taking complete control and remembering all of it in each detail.

We get to our feet, taking a right jab at Death’s torso. Of course, it manages to catch our wrist and headbutt us. We fall to the ground again, and our head hurts for a few moments as it is scraped against pavement. The axe swings down again, this time at our right leg. We move, but a second too late as part of it is struck. We can hear ourselves crying out in rage and anguish, and the multitude of voices in our head asking the same question over and over again.

Outside thoughts keep crossing our head, thoughts like “I’m going to die”, but we pay them no mind. We court fear; we do not let it consume us.

Death prepares to attack again, this time standing over our head and chopping at our throat. We counter by grabbing hold of the axe shaft as it attempts to draw blood. This time, Death is the one caught by surprise, and so with a little burst of energy we take the axe shaft up, hitting it in its mask. It stumbles backwards into a pillar, dropping the axe right next to us like a present. We take it in our hands and start towards Death, ready to end this.

Death is not perturbed by this change; instead, it runs at us before we can even get the axe into a swinging position. It crashes into us, sending each of us sprawling onto the pavement and the axe just a few feet away. It begins bludgeoning our head onto the floor, as if it could force us out that way. It puts its whole weight on our chest so that we can’t force it off of us. One hand curls around our throat, the other pulling at the mask… and slams us again and again into the floor. Red appears around our vision and we can feel ourselves slipping.

It pauses for just a second, and in this tiny moment of peace we can hear exhausted breaths being let out by the body Death possesses. It makes the fatal error of thinking we’re too incapacitated to move and stands. It asks us the question again and starts towards the axe, intending on finishing us off that way.

We try to move, but our body doesn’t register right away. We blink several times, watching as Death picks up the axe and hoists it onto its shoulder. It starts towards us, its breathing being the only thing we can hear aside from our heart beat.

And then we hear the voice in our head, giving us a brilliant idea. The air becomes polluted with our presence, making it hard to see. Death fades from view, but we know it is trapped. We manage to pull ourselves a few feet away before it can strike.

We can hear the gas mask breathing in, out, in, out, but the noise is everywhere. We manage to stand up; we try to get our bearings. And that’s when we see the shadow of Death cross in front of us, searching. And so we take our chance.

With a final ounce of strength, we lunge forward and rip at the gas mask… and tear it off, revealing only flesh and bone underneath. But it is enough.

Almost immediately we enter Death, setting it aflame from the inside out. And we do so much more than that; we go after what is there but not there, that which ties itself to this world. We strike again and again, letting the urge to destroy do our work for us. We can feel its pain and rage; we can feel it trying to escape, or strike back, and so we grab its neck. Its form is slowly becoming a shining light, and so we throw it a few yards in front of us. Before it reaches the ground, the body is nothing but a wave of light spinning in the air.

And then what we wanted happens: The light begins to dim, like it is being extinguished…

But something new happens. The light is surrounded by another, a… darker, paler light, like that of a maggot’s skin or the flesh of a corpse. For a moment, the original light shudders… and then it fades from view as the other light replaces it. The area around us becomes too bright, even for our eyes, and we are forced to shut them. As the glow subsides, we look back at where Death was killed.

Standing where we saw it is a strange man. It resembles a kind of priest, one that wears a long, dark jacket and a wide-brimmed hat. Its skin is pale, like the light that overtook the original, and in place of a mouth, there are only long, jagged scars. There is only a small indent where the nose should be, and both ears are gone. It regards us with strange, inviting eyes for a moment, tilting its head as if it is curious.

Then, the new Death folds smooth, pale hands behind its back, and in a flash of light it is gone.

We collapse onto the floor, exhaustion overtaking even us. And in our last few memories we have of that night, we recall two young men dragging us into the back of their vehicle while attempting to stifle the cries of a newborn child.

Hey, Vinnie.

Mind updating your blog in a little while, Vinnie? You're starting to make me look like an idiot for saying "Oooh, he'll update soon!" I mean, what are you waiting for? An invitation?

... Oh, sorry! I keep forgetting you have readers. Hi. Well, this is awkward. Name's SID. Yes, that's all uppercase, thanks. Write that down. No? Oh... okay. I'll just, uh... Continue.

Ahem. Let me try again!

Yeeee-haaaw-- No.

How's it going, bros -- Nah.

Look. Just hi. Name's SID, and I'm here to stay. Not as this blog's main writer - that'll be your host (pfft), Vincent Karrel - but as your guest commentator! So, lets see what we've got here.

Oooh, Vincent, you're so bad! Putting a girl's diary online... How could youuuu?

Hey, don't knock the serial killer. He was a nice guy. Was.

She got pregnant? William, you dog!

Daniel seems like such a nice guy. Not a Nice Guy like you, Vincent, but nice in the sense that he's the kind of guy I can count on to kidnap a child that was just born. *claps*

Look, I know you don't like Sarah or Lois. That's a given. But don't shout out how "That's not how reality works! Boohoo!" You have no idea how reality works, you get me? Well, maybe you do now with Smokestack inside you. Oh, screw you, Vincent.

I hope you enjoyed your nightly walks into enemy territory, Vinnie!

Oh, Vivian. Vivian, Vivian, Vivian. You're such a strange case, aren't you? D'aaaawww. Well, you'll lose everything eventually - especially when they get their hands(?) on you. Everything that makes you human... gone, in the blink of an eye! Sometimes, we wear masks to give us a trace of humanity. It... doesn't always work, of course, and it's become quite a... oh, what's the word... a staple! Yeah! It's become a staple in today's time. Now, whenever people see a mask, their immediate thoughts are either "That guy's a creep!" or, if they're involved with Them, "NOOOO, PROXY. NO, PROXY, PLEASE, PROXY, NO. NO. NOOOOO!"

Okay, not in those specific words. That'd be horrible and uninteresting.

And funny.

Back on topic! We finally have some development. His dad hates (read: hated) him! Well, didn't care for him, anyway.

Okay, screw this. It's boring. I'm taking a look at everyone's comments last time.

Aww, DM thinks I'm what Smokestack (By the way, I'm totally calling dibs on that name) calls the young virus. Naw, sugar, I'm pure ME. Oh, and Blair says hello. Or would, if s/he were still alive. AHA. AHA.

INSANITY, I thik you need spellcheck! Har-har!... But really, we'll get along very well.

Wayward, I resent that accusation. I haven't changed a thing. Well, I haven't changed a lot of things. Well, I haven't changed a lot of things... yet. Come on, how could I not get involved? This town is ripe for the picking... Is that how that saying goes?

Look. Doesn't matter.

Like it or not, I'm here to stay. This town... oh, it has such a history. I love it. Just last year, good ol' Whispers shows up and kills Sarah's daddy and sets this entire thing off!

And this is only the beginning. :)

xoxo,

SID

- Stories -

Oh, humanity… How it makes my skin crawl. Among other things, of course, but humanity is such a curious and unique thing. Did I mention disturbing? You all can’t agree on the littlest things, can you? And that escalates, escalates, escalates… and pop! Like a balloon, the anger goes off. The trigger has been pulled! Can’t take back those words now. It’ll take a while to repair any damage you’ve done.

One side views a pedophile as a horrible monster that needs to be put down. The other side blames the young men and women, saying they should know better than to trust a guy they met online. Which one is right? Where does the blame fall? Now, now, don’t look at the United States’ Government to give you the answers to cosmic rulings. C’mon, now.

Here’s another one for you Pyrehearts: Girl gets manipulated by a guy and forced into having sex with him. This changes her entire world, to the point where she’s not even recognizable anymore. She’s manipulative herself, doesn’t trust anyone… speaks harshly to people she doesn’t know that well. So, whose fault is that? The guy’s, for extorting sex and turning her into that? Or is it the girl’s because she didn’t get over it, didn’t do the mature thing and be safe about who she spent time with?

How about a teen that gets pregnant because she thought she was in love? Maybe the guy thought so, too, I don’t know! But do either of them deserve the hate they get, or should they be helped because they made a mistake? Some would argue that it was justice, y’know? But maybe it’s a learning experience! Ahhh… who are we to say, am I right?

Let’s put it this way. Humanity is… special. Like clay! Your minds are so easily molded that it only takes a short while for these, ah… what do you call them? Fears? (That is such a terrific name and I applaud you forever and ever!) It only takes a short while for them to go to work on your minds, and suddenly they’ve either broken you into pieces, allowed you to live in return for ‘service’, or you’ve run off with nothing but your laptop or cell phone and a backpack. Sometimes, not even that.

To you, there’s no gray lines. There’s only the good and the bad. You concentrate on your differences when you’re so alike. One side condemns the other, the other condemns the other side for condemning. It’s a never-ending process that humanity will go through until it destroys itself. And that day is coming.

Here’s a final one for you to think about. A guy gets involved with this girl, you get me? They talk, get relatively close. Or the guy thinks so. So, he sacrifices secrecy and lets her in on a lifelong secret, one that’s caused a rift between him and the rest of his family (which, consequently, affects everything else - go figure). He tells her this secret, and she promises to keep it.

But then he starts blabber-mouthing about her little boyfriend, and she realizes it was a mistake talking to this guy. In a fit of anger, she releases the guy’s secret, telling the world that he accidentally killed his younger brother by leaving him in the woods when the older got angry. Makes it out to be murder, you get me? And everyone and their mother eats that right up, making fun of him, saying he should kill himself, too, some even suggesting that he’s killed a few people already! *GASP*

Things quiet down because, really, who gives a crap about this nobody, am I right? Well, turns out they were paying attention to him STILL - Get a bloody life, come on! - because about a month and half later he pops up with some retaliation, revealing that Little Miss Secret Keeper has a few skeletons in her closet. Bang, whole school lights up and he gets out of the “Screw You” spotlight. It’s vengeance, right? She deserved it! He’s in the right!

But some people don’t think so! Oh, nononono, don’t get me wrong. In fact, some ‘white-knights’ think that they can wield punishment in their own hands instead of leaving it to their betters. Obviously it’s retribution for what he did, right? Yeah?

And, well, I think you can kind of guess the rest. Not very subtle, am I?

You can choose which one's in the right and which one's in the "Screw You" spotlight; I'm merely an observer.

Vinny-boy, I am terribly sorry for jumping onto your account. But hey, you have to keep your audience entertained, am I right? And boy, this is gonna be a good show. Just you wait, people – big things, and I mean big things, went down at the hospital on Sunday night. I was there, of course, but why I should I spoil things for you? Its better coming out of Smokey Vin’s… eh… mouth?

xoxo,

SID

There are some days when I feel like giving up. Doesn’t matter why sometimes, I just feel that way. Little comments some people make, the glances I see out of the corner of my eye… They’re not imagined. I know they’re there, but people don’t want to hurt my feelings. Well, some do, but I expect those people to most of the time. Somebody said I was a moron because I looked like someone they knew. I’m not kidding.  Wish I was. But it didn’t bother me for long. I got over it, I swear.

But it’s the perceived slights, the ones that you don’t hear about until later. The little negative comments that get around, warping people’s opinions about each other. In my sophomore year, people were talking about a guy who was just eccentric, but they made him out to be some sort of freak. He wasn’t. I mean, my personality would have clashed with his, so I didn’t really talk to him. But I refused to say anything mean about him because I knew what it felt like to have others talk about you behind your back. I think every highschooler has something like this happen to them, though; we all hear something that someone said about us behind our backs, and it’s either good or bad. Nothing ever in-between. I mean, you’re not going to say something like “I consider his hair to be a good color, but an improper length”. You can’t be neutral for long.

Anyway, this gossip stuff. It got back to the guy, right? And even though he had a group of friends who cared about him, even though he had people to hang out with, it still got to him. Months down the road, he ended up overdosing because of all the little stuff that built up over time.

I’ve witnessed this a few times in the past year. Not necessarily to the point of suicide each and every time, but one or two cases. I’ve contemplated suicide before, actually. Still do, since it’d be a way out. Just the little things that pile up, you know? And it’d be so simple for me to do it, too. Just jump in front of a speeding vehicle, or take a butcher knife to my wrist. Chop, chop, chop. Maybe take a lot of painkillers and overdose like Eccentric Guy.

Sad thing is, it won’t make people learn their lesson. Every time someone dies or takes their own life, people are sad for a time. And then people start sharing negative stories about them, saying stuff like “It wasn’t my fault. He/She just had issues and needed to talk to someone, gosh”, but they don’t really care, you know? They wouldn’t just walk up to someone and say hi, how’s it going? Want to sit with us?

And it’s not the people you think it is, either. The “popular” crowd – a few of them will talk to you, but not a lot. The little do-goods that say they want to help people rarely do. The ones who joke around with each other might include you, I guess. Depends if you take part or not. The people who don’t care about school, well, that should be obvious. And the rest… heh, they all have their own little groups…

That’s one of the reasons why I like Daniel. He approached me, saw that I needed help. He’s not the best influence in the world, but neither is my father, okay? And at least Daniel will give me a time of the week. “Hey, want to come on over and watch some movies?” “Sure, why not.”

And even though it’s been almost a month, I kind of feel like Daniel’s the brother I would have had. I mean, we’re a lot alike, though he’s more adventuresome. who cares, yeah. Oh, bullcrap, people do care. i’m just saying maybe they don’t okay. But people tell me Daniel is the bad guy, telling me that I need to stay away from him. But what defines a bad guy? The antagonist, yeah? Well, I’m the protagonist of my story, so who is my antagonist? Everyone else, the ones who have rejected me, who have placed people like me as beyond saving? Worth finding out.

Lois isn’t an antagonist, though. I thought she was, and then I brought her down to my level. I was wrong in that. I humiliated her, did to her what she did to me. that does not excuse what she did of course. Maybe not, you’re right, but it was bad of me to do that to her.

Just proves my point that as humans we will fail time and time again. We’re inherently evil, giving in to our base desires if we let ourselves slip that far. I did, and it’s brought me so far down. Heh, isn’t that right? it is.

The world’s cruel. You can’t change that fact. I’d like to make it into a universe where it’s all nice and happy and everything is peaceful. but that depends on your definition of peace. Maybe it’s simply being alone in your own personal paradise. Maybe it’s with other people. I don’t know.

But it’s not what I want. not anymore.

Personal philosophy.

am i speaking in understandable ways? Who cares. We’re getting this done, we have to.

It’s not about what I want. I understand that now. We have to provide fair ways, give them chances. but we have so many times, so many times. Just do it. Lie. lying can be good in proper circumstances.

He’s surprised? is that a question but of course. Aha, he doesn’t know what to say. I wouldn’t, either, if I were him. to suddenly here the boy asking for lessons is quite strange. He hasn’t been much of an influence on me, though. A positive, at least. get it over with.

We’re going downstairs, yeah? That’s where he keeps them, and that’s good. We’ll have what we need. Daniel would like that, I bet. Vivian and the rest of the group would like it, too. but its not for them. It’s not? Of course, I’m right. We don’t need them for now, but they need us. What comes next?

Right, the cabinet where they’re locked up. Don’t want someone hurting themselves. like before right. Yes, like before. Was it eleven years ago? i was not here so i cannot tell you. But I was here. Blood, you know, gets over everything. We had to move houses because of it. I don’t like blood. i think.

He’s letting me look down the sights at it. I know how to use one of these, dad, I’m not stupid. Just point, aim, and shoot. Bang. see daddy? We know how to use it.

The world is evil, okay? We try to suppress it, try to cover our vices… maybe it takes some more effort than others. But we all have that darkness inside us, just waiting to spring out. just waiting to take control. Bang. I don’t know how I feel about it, really. But this is the proper term of events, about what’s fair. he deserved it just like lois deserved to be shown what humanity is really like and why humanity deserves to die. We war with each other all the time, bringing out evil in each other. The ones who declare war don’t fight, do they? Not anymore, at least. but it was not always like that back then honor used to mean something. But not anymore. Hate is a more powerful emotion, stronger than fear. you can do so many things with both, but hatred burns deep, decaying the heart until it is withered down to nothing like itself a changed being.

what i find funny is that we say that we lose our humanity when we become monsters but i disagree because humanity is a monster at its very core.

we fight amongst ourselves because it is in our very nature.

bang. bang. bang.

stop with the flashing lights already. Neighbors? None, thank you.

how many times shall we point out the obvious humanity needs to be destroyed so that everlasting peace may be placed on this world. But is that what we want? to have absolute peace you must first have war and without war nothing will change and none shall learn their lesson.

Lessons need to be taught.

Of course, it was staring me in the face the entire time.

oh?

Lessons are important, and Lois’ isn’t done yet. She knows what it feels like to be half of me, but the other half, the part that was buried, the part that came back? She hasn’t experienced a loss of life. Let’s even the playing field out. she will know what a death will feel like and what it will feel like to be held responsible.

then it will end. then the payment will be due and she can be forgiven and other lessons taught just like the ones tonight. father and mother know better now do they not. and the neighbors will be sure to stay silent next time i am sure.

hurry they will be here any moment. I just need to grab a few things. Obviously we’re taking this and father’s gift, but I want something else. A gift from mom. what is that? She made it for me a few years ago. Tried to make it a ninja mask, but it came out like an executioner. fitting. I thought so. Getting a backpack together. Are they even out tonight? who cares the response time may be bad at this time of night. Just getting this taken care of.

right. we are ready.

I think so.

we know so.

time to play lois.

Hello, witnesses

Waaasssuuuup witnesses? Not sure why Vince chose that name for you all, but its pretty cool. “Witnesses”, like you’re in some sort of court room.

Anyway this is Daniel. We’re chilling out at my place and Vince decided to let me on his blog for a little while, so yeah lets get this thing going. And man, you have no idea how far my little man Vince has come. So he comes to me yesterday and says that he wants to be a “true” part of our group, whatever that means, so I host this little get-together here at my place while mom’s at work. And this is great, we’re all having a great time!

Right, well Vince just had his first cigarette, and that was too funny. Well, he said it wasn't his first time 'cause he had tried to smoke before but his dad caught him, but yeah. He started coughing like he was about to cough up a lung and Ty started to tease him about it. Then Vince just punches Ty across the face and sends him flying out of his chair, bahaha, and we all start laughing and Vince is just standing there with this angry look on his face with smoke all around him and he looked pretty awesome, actually. He started to calm down but I would have liked to see more of that fighting action.

Well I guess we did see some action, 'cause after that Becca started... taking an interest in Vince. We gave them a little privacy, y’know, 'cause I respect the kid. Doubt it'll go any farther than a makeout session, but whatever - at least Vince is finally getting himself out there, being more confident.

Now we’re upstairs, Ty’s in the other room with some girl he just met a few hours ago. Me, I’m here with Viv who showed up earlier. She’s what holds the group together, I think... She has this, I don't know, motherly trait about her. I wouldn't be a good leader at all. Anyway, she isn’t around a whole lot, but when she is... eh no real way to describe it. Its like... she won't give up on you, no matter what you do. She’s been busy bringing in some more people, people she thinks will help 'reach our goal', which sounds good to me. I'm behind any plan she has. Yeah yeah, so it might seem like I’m saying these things just so I can get lucky a little later on, but its true. I love her and the rest of our little... family.

And Vince, welcome to the family.

Nothing Matters

Things will never change, no matter what you do. You try and change yourself once, the other side hates you. You try and change yourself twice, it still happens.

No matter what I try to do, it all comes down to people, and people are evil. Deep down, they all are, it doesn’t matter what they are on the outside. And I’ve seen the faces of the evil in people, oh, I have. And I hate it, I hate them, I hate this entire world.

I was walking home from school Friday and then it happened.. haha, should have seen it coming... Four guys, friends of Will's, probably, had been following me and when we were alone they started to harass me. They started saying how I was pathetic for making the blog, how I was an asshole, and then one of them, one with a birthmark right beneath his lip, clips me right in the nose. And then he starts kicking and smashing , and the others did nothing. They just sat and watched, looking on as I got the crap beaten out of me. And then they left me bleeding there on the road.
Got found... taken to the hospital. Found out I had a broken wrist, so you can imagine how tough it was for me to make that post the other night, eh? Hah... oh, and some bruised ribs and black eyes always look appealing...

Maybe I was wrong in making this blog… I... I regret it now... The whispers are back, the ones around school, and the people who I thought were supportive of me are just hiding behind their masks, acting like I’m in the right when they talk about me behind my back. I know, I see their looks. What is the point of making this in a fight for retribution when all it earns you is what you had before? Nothing… Nothing at all…

My dad was right all along. I won’t amount to anything, because I don’t matter. I regret so many things, so many damn things. I wish I had been more athletic to make him proud, wish I was interested in hunting or hiking or something like he is, but no- he considers me a failure. That’s why he doesn’t say he loves me anymore, why I haven’t heard those words in a long time. Three simple words could have such a significant impact, but no, there’s a refusal because of one thing:

I'm a failure.
timetoplay
†

Comments

Time to look over some of the interesting comments I've been getting.

From Disputing Madness:
You two fucking deserve each other.

Have fun, those times she wears red.

Yes, because that makes a whole lot of sense. How about you go for a coherent response next time, DM?

From proxiehunter (in response to DM):

You should have more pity for Vivian. Unlike Vincent here she's ill. Terminally so most likely. It seems from this that there's still some of her left fighting It. Or trying to, anyway.

What the hell has this world come to? *ME* saying to pity one of them.

Implying that I'm sick? I don't know, don't really care anymore. Yet another cryptic comment, though, this time talking about "Them". Right, because I'm totally going to KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

From Mask of Insanity:

Because you like da pussy Prox.

Besides, I want to see how this pan out. I just hope we don't get the freaking details of the bumping and more on Them.

Now, since nothing related to my search is here, moving on. I don't have time to act insane.

I honestly have no idea how to respond to this, so I think a simple "Go screw yourself" will work. Vivian and I won't be "bumping" - we practically just met. And yet another reference to the fabled "Them!" Oh, how did you know that I love cryptic comments? Oh, you!

And finally, from Phobos:

Oh shit. He actually let her make physical contact. I honestly have no words to describe that kind of decision.

Hm. Okay. Well, none of you have really given me a reason to NOT make contact with Vivian - or any of my new friends, for that matter. All I've been getting are cryptic comments left and right, with no one telling me what they're talking about.

Here's the thing, though. Don't you dare condemn me for making physical contact with Vivian when no one's told me why I shouldn't. Until you've walked a mile in my shoes, you don't get to condemn me.

"But Vincent, you uploaded Lois' diary on here--"

Yeah, I know I did. That was the reason I made this thing in the first place. And I regret it oh so much right now because it's bringing me nothing but pain. Heh, right. Forgot to mention that, didn't I? Well, I haven't had a great day, and coming home to have people saying I made a poor decision when I don't even know the reason why they're saying it's poor in the first place... well, it pisses me off.

So, from now on?

Either you post coherent replies instead of the cryptic nonsense that keeps coming, or I'll turn off comments completely.

... Oh, wonderful. Dad's calling me into the living room. This ought to be good... I assume it's about the fight today, since there's no other reason why he'd want to talk to me in the first place.

Bye.

Evening. Just had a really fun afternoon, and I thought I'd share it with all of you. And this is has the side-effect of pissing off my favorite cryptic poster, Disputing Madness!

So, without further ado, let's begin.

I was home alone earlier this afternoon since my parents were going out for their anniversary, just... well, not doing anything, really. Not much to do around here, and my neighborhood is  devoid of any people my age. And Daniel's been busy fixing his car, so we couldn't hang out today, either. Looked like another boring afternoon.

That's when I heard a knock on the door.

I walk to the front of my house, expecting the mailman or something. I open the door and there stands the last person I expected to find at my house: Vivian Foster.

She was dressed in blue jeans and a dark green hoodie, her brown hair pulled back in a ponytail. She smiled at me, saying hello, while I stood there like an idiot and unsure of what to do. Look, I've never had a cute girl appear at my house before, okay? Don't judge.

It was strange, though. I expected Vivian to act more... dominant, I guess, after reading Lois' journal and hearing Daniel describe her. But she seemed almost... shy, just like me. Maybe she was just pretending to make me feel better.

I invited her in and thus began the awkwardest moments in my life. We didn't say anything for a little while, just walked into the living room and sat down. I finally asked her if she wanted something to eat or drink, but she said no. And... well. Here's how the conversation went:

Me: "So..."
Vivian: "Hm?"
M: "Uh, I was just wondering what you're doing here. I thought... well, I thought you were busy or something. That's what Daniel tells me."
V: "I don't know what I'd be busy with."
M: "Visiting people, I think?"
V: "Well... then in a way, I guess I am busy. I'm visiting you, aren't I?" (She smiles upon saying this)
M: "Oh... right, haha. So... that's all this is, then? Just visiting me?"
V: "Well... it occurred to me that you've been a part of Danny's little group and I've neglected to introduce myself. But... you already know who I am, of course."
M: "Not by reputation, though! Ah... not saying you have a reputation or anything. I mean, ah... nevermind."
V: "Well, I do have a little bit of a reputation... But I'm referring to Lois' journal."
M: "Yeah, that's, um, what I meant."
V: "Of course."
M: "...Well, I'm Vincent. Nice to... finally meet you, I guess."
V: "Likewise." (She smiles again)

After that horribly awkward conversation, we got to talking about... well, pretty much everything, really. How school was going for us, what we thought of other members of Daniel's group (don't worry, they were all positive things), what we thought of other people at school... normal conversation topics, you know? Or I guess they're normal. Never really had a conversation like I had with Vivian...

Anyway, we decided on going out to eat since there's not a lot to do at my house. Not anything fancy, just this Italian place downtown. And it was really nice; we laughed a lot throughout our meal over random stuff. Daniel was not kidding when he said Vivian had a great sense of humor - she can find something hilarious in almost anything, and will immediately point it out.

We went to this bowling place after dinner and it was kind of fun. I found out that I'm actually kind of good at something; managed to get a 190-something score on my first game, and Vivian said that wasn't bad at all for a first timer. We stayed there for around three hours just bowling and talking, and after awhile it was just us in the place (aside from the owners, of course).

There was one thing that struck me as odd, though. Vivian was about to go but paused, as if thinking about something. She turned to me, almost like she was confused, and I saw... I don't know, I think I saw fear in her eyes. She seemed... afraid. I asked her what's wrong and she sat down, putting the bowling ball on the seat beside her. Her eyes were on the floor and she didn't speak for a few moments and I thought about asking her again when she started to speak.

"Do you ever feel like... you're not the same person you were?"

The question caught me off guard. "What do you mean?"

She just shook her head. "Nothing, it's just... I feel like sometimes I'm losing myself, bits and pieces day-by-day. I guess it's me growing up, but I feel like it's happening too fast." Vivian hugged herself, almost like she was cold. "I don't like it. I... I want to be me, Vince. I don't want to be something else. Do you know what I mean?" She turned to look at me, that scared look still in her eyes.

I honestly didn't know how to respond, but I attempted to do so, anyway. "Well, I guess I do. I think I'm kind of the opposite, really... I've always been sheltered to the point where I can't relate to a lot of people, but through the past month and a half... meeting Daniel and you, for instance... I feel like it's making me a different person, but for the better. I think you just have to look at the positives, you know?"

I don't know if she understood or not, but she nodded her head. She closed her eyes for a few moments and when she opened them, that look of fear was gone. In fact, she looked almost... determined. Considering her next statement, that look made sense: "Bet you can't beat me at another game!"

We got kicked out about twenty minutes later, and since it was getting late we decided to part ways. Before she left, Vivian kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks, Vince. You're not such a bad guy after all." And... well, she walked off, nothing more than that.

And... that was my night. So, yeah.

No dream last night. Maybe they're over.

Dreaming

Okay. Going to try and not make as many typos as last time, but here’s the third dream I’ve had...

I was walking down a road, nothing else on it. All of the buildings were crumbling or on fire, and in front of me I could see people walking towards me. Then I saw myself, and behind me there were a lot of people following. I'm... not sure what they looked like, mostly blurred figures, but I could see a dagger poised just across my throat and some sort of animal, a beast, walking next to me.

And then there was this thing behind me, a shadow made of ash, eyes like burning coals. And then I was myself again, not caring about the being behind me, eyes forward.

We reached a crossroads and I looked out in front of me, expecting to see... something. I don't really remember what, but... this thing, this shape that kept changing into something... familiar. I can't put my finger on it, but it looked like something I knew. And... then this light, almost like glowing white water, was flowing into this shape... No, no, the shape was... devouring the light. And then it became the light, and turned the light into a man. Then there were more shapes behind this man, all changing...

Then I looked to my left to see a... King, I guess. He had a crown of knives on his forehead, and they seemed to be digging into his skull. Where this king stepped, these shapes, the ones with no definite form but surrounded by a white outline and rippling darkness, they seemed to spring out of the ground. They reached for him, trying to hang on as the king walked along. And in the king's hands he carried this gray key that is as big as my middle finger, and he was twirling it in his fingers.

And to my right was just a man, a man with no shape or form, no details to make him stand out, but he... stood out more than the others. And as he walked down the road it was collapsing, all of it gone, and then it wasn’t the shape of a man but… something else. Something wrong. It was something that was large but compacted into a form that you knew shouldn't be able to handle that, but it was also something tiny that filled the void. And everything was so... silent around it. You couldn't hear anything, not even the sound of the road being torn in several places.

I looked up and saw that this area was surrounded by some sort of... building. Like an observation post, I guess. On it, I could see several things, some of them I didn't really get a chance to look at but I could feel them there. The one that stood out the most was this... thing, something really tall and wearing a black trench coat zipped all the way up. It turned it's gaze on me and I felt like I was being analyzed, taken into account, and when it looked away I felt a sort of peace wash over me.

And then I was faced with the strange woman again, the woman in white, and she placed her hands on my face while looking into my eyes. And she whispered that saying again – “There’s something in your shadow.” – and suddenly the claws were tearing at my face as she screamed...

And that’s when I woke up.

Thing is... I found red marks on my face, almost like someone was scratching it... Did I do that? What is happening to me?

Happened again. Posting thie dream now.

Thi time I started out in a place loke the Arizzona desert or something like that, not waves of sand like how you usually think. But there weren’t any bushes or cacti or whatever, so it was just arid. I was walkig through it but wasn’t really hot at all and then I start seeing these peools of water floating in the air, streams flowing into the sky, right”> and so I’m not realy sure what that’s about.

i got really thirsty this time so I went to drink from one of the streams and all of a sudden I was in a forest at night, around some sort of campfire. Then this guy, he was sitting there and shivering despite having a coat on. There was another guy with him, an older one who awas cleaning his knife, bt my focus was mostly on the other guy, the teenager. He was covered in bruises ad it looked someone had clawedd at hs eyes leaving these marksst around them. He had that mark on his arm but it had a wet bandage aroud it all bloody and the likea. "you shokuldnt be geting involved with her" the oldre guy asiad

they start talking aboiuyt smthnig else but im not sure what they. Were taking about. Didn’t aeeakt ah damn it this is going ato be ufull of so many tpos. Anyway they were talking and and… I don’t know they were saying something about the killer but saying he wasn’t the only one?

Then I was looking at her, at Sarah, and she had some guyha watcuhing here..a lightt

uh

and there was something else, I was in the desert again and the woman was there, the owman who loks bewautifull. And I started walking up to her but she was baakigc away and I noticed things about her like the long fingers but werhich were probally poithy fingernails sh or someihnti. And her eyes were weird like the pupils were larger. In fact I am almost sure they awer yeah. And then she started to spaek and it was really weord, like she was alony mimicking what someone alridea said before and repeating it like ishe idoesn’t knwow nhwt ti means.

She said “There’s something in your shadow.”

And then I woke upo and timing this.

Phonecall

Call from Sarah; recorded most of it with an app on my phone.

S: “Vincent?”
V: “Who is this?”
S: “Sarah.”
V: “... How’d you get my number?”
S: “You gave it to Lois, who gave it to me... And that wasn't easy.”
V: “Oh.”
S: “Yeah.”
V: “Look, if you’re going to tell me to take down the blog again-“
S: “I’m not here to do that. It won't... It won't stop anything.”
V: “… Right. So… why did you call me?”
S: “I just... There's something going on, Vincent, and I have this bad feeling...”
V: “About?”
S: “Just the things you’ve done. I can't help but feel that something terrible is about to happen, all because of what you posted--”
V: “Is that a threat?”
S: “What? No, no, I'm not trying to sound threatening. It's just... You need to be careful.”
V: “Well, that goes for you, too.”
S: “… Vincent, do you know what Lois is going through right now?”
V: “I don’t care.”
S: “I think you do. You want to hear what you’ve done to her?”
V: “Ruined her life?”
S: “I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but you’ve made it a living Hell for her. She keeps getting calls from people she doesn’t know, messages calling her a whore and saying she needs to go to Hell, just a lot of bad stuff that adds on to the stress of what she’s going through. Stress she doesn’t need right now, Vincent. She’s due later this month.”
V: “Tell her to turn her phone off, then."
S: “Vincent... Please, just listen."
V: “Okay.”
S: “Will you apologize to her?”
V: “What good will that do? Apologizing does nothing if the other person doesn’t mean it.”
S: “Maybe for you, but it’ll mean something to her.”
V: “She never apologized to me.”
S: “You need to let it go, Vincent. Keeping that kind of hate within you only brings bad things.”
V: “Spare me the religious crap. God’s not going to punish me.”
S: “That’s not what I was going to—“
V: “I’m done talking to you, Sarah. I’ll see you at school.”

And that’s the end of that.

I know things will probably get worse for me because I’ve attracted the attention of almost everyone in school. But it’s not like making this blog is the domino effect that eventually leads to a horrible life. It doesn’t work like that.

And Lois, if you’re reading this... do know that I truly am not sorry. Now have your friends stop bothering me, because it’s getting old.

Why am I up this early…?

Just had a really weird dream.. I was following some lady in white down a corridor and she was showing me different doorways. In these doorways there were people in them and doing things at different points of their life.

Then I came upon a door I felt I knew, and... I'm pretty sure it was my own. When I was looking in it, I saw myself from last year laying on my bed and crying. A lot.

I remember that day. It was around this time of year, actually, and I had just gotten home from school. My parents were waiting for me, my mom looking like she had been weeping for hours. My dad... he didn't have any expression on his face, just stared at me.

And I noticed something wrong then; usually my dog, Brady, would run up to me and get between my legs, barking happily and just wanting someone to scratch his cute little beagle ears. He didn't that day, and I guess my confusion must have shown on my face because my dad said that Brady wasn't in the house.

I asked him why, because Brady was never an outside dog.

And... my dad bluntly said that my dog was dead.

Thoughts were racing through my mind, trying to rationalize how this must have happened. I thought that maybe Brady had gotten out and accidentally got hit by a car or something, but... that's not what happened. At all.

My dad said that Brady had been getting sick every few months and it was becoming a hassle to pay for treatment, too much going out of things that could be spent on groceries or the house payment. So, dad had my dog put down.

I... to hear that your own father could kill one of your only friends, one who stuck by your side.. just... I never forgave him for that.

..

The door closed and the lady in white led me away from there, to a cliff. As the sun started to rise, I could see down below me several fires starting, the smoke rising into the air. And I saw things moving down there, but I can't really remember what they really looked like. I just know they looked... wrong, like they had their outlines shifting every few moments.

And this lady, the one who had these weird eyes, kind of gave me a look. I don't know how to explain it, really, but it was unsettling. And she started to speak, but not to me. She said "It's happening again," and... after that I woke up.

Daniel and Friends

As promised, here’s the post about Daniel and his group.

Daniel’s the kind of guy that I wouldn’t normally hang out with because of his... extracurricular activities, but we share similar interests. Turns out, he was a friend of Will’s until he decided to stop hanging out with Daniel’s group in favor of the “uptight” crowd, so upon hearing that Will got a girl pregnant just made Daniel laugh. He’s included me in his group (which has a few people who have teased me before, but I think I can let them off the hook), and they’re all kinds of… eccentric. And vulgar, but I don’t mind that so much anymore.

I was hanging out with them earlier today and got to know some more about the other people. Here’s a few that made an impression on me: There’s a girl who goes by Becca and, well, she's a little shy. Didn't open up a lot around me, but when she thought I wasn't paying attention she'd be joking around with Daniel. There's also a guy called Ty who is pretty... eh... Well, he's bold, let's put it that way. He'll say whatever comes to mind, which is probably why he's gotten in trouble at school so many times. Daniel’s pretty much the guy who organizes things and has them meet other people (like me), and finally… Aha, this is great: Vivian’s part of their group. Mighty big coincidence, eh? She doesn’t seem to hang out with them as often as she’d like, though.

Wonder what my dad would think if he knew I was hanging out with them...

Not sure what I’m going to be for the Halloween party. I don’t have a lot in the way of money, so I’ll probably be making my own costume. When I was going through my closet I found some toy swords and guns I had when I was younger, but all of the costumes that went with them are too small. Well, except for this “ninja” mask I have, but it looks more like someone cut out two eyeholes in a burlap sack and dyed it black. Knowing my mom, that’s probably what she did.

Reported

After that last post, I thought things were going to be better. Heh, what a joke… Things never get better. Not for me.

I was sent to the principal’s office yesterday. Someone did report me, probably in response to what I said last time, and, well, the principal was mad. He started off slow and calm, saying how bullying wasn’t tolerated at that school… Actually, you know what? I’ll just post how I remember the conversation going.

“Hello, Vincent.”

“Morning, Principal Evans.”

“You already know why you’re here, don’t you?”

“If it’s about the blog, then yeah, I know.”

“Yes, that’d be correct.”

There’s a pause.

“Vincent, we don’t tolerate bullying, no matter the form it comes in. What you said on that blog was wrong. Students are allowed their privacy—“

“With all due respect, sir, how do you know the contents of the blog aren’t made up?”

“Excuse me?”

“No one’s asked me if I lied about Lois being pregnant. They didn’t ask me if I had even made up the journal.”

“Well, then that would be slander—“

“Sure, when lying hurts someone else. But when a real bully comes along and lies about how he didn’t mean to hurt the other person, of course they get off scot-free. You believe them when they lie, Principal Evans, and to single me out like this enrages me.”

“We do not tolerate bullying—“

“Yeah, you said that, but it doesn’t make a difference. Every day I see people being abused – not physically, no, mentally. And you people do nothing for us, you do nothing to help us, you just cause more and more trouble. And when we fight back, when we attempt to stop it, what do you do? You give us more punishment than the actual abusers. That’s the real crime.”

“That’s not true, Vincent. I have been here for several years, and each time I’ve made an effort to stop this—“

“And a nice job doing that! You know, if you’d actually done your job – if the rest of the staff had done their job! – then this probably wouldn’t have happened.”

I get up to leave.

“Sit back down, Vincent—“

“No. I’m going to class to learn from idiots like you.

… Oh, and sir? It’s libel. Slander is spoken.”

So, yeah. That’s what the conversation went like, and I ended up getting ISS for back-talking the principal. But I’m not sorry, and I’m still not going to take down the blog.

It felt good, actually, to talk back to someone like that. I’m not even sure why I did it since I’d normally just sit there and take it. But the anger I felt in that room was... exhilarating, fueled me... And I’m pretty sure that Evans was scared of me, at least towards the end. Probably thought I was going to come over the desk and punch him right in his crooked nose.
nexttimeisnaphisneck

FINALLY

At last. At last.

Today, I heard several people talking about the blog, talking about her. Rumors abound, rumors about her and not me... I mean, there's always been rumors about her, but nothing concrete. No facts, no evidence, nothing. All we had was her mom taking her out of school because "she was sick", and that sounded plausible, didn't it? I mean, that's why I started talking to Lois, to see how she felt...

But it felt so good to not be the victim for once. I actually had someone come up to me and say I had done a good job. Even invited me over to their lunch table today, which… well, that hasn’t happened to me before...

But not everyone likes this blog. Sarah almost chewed me out in front of everyone in English class, and a few of Lois’ friends were giving me dirty looks. Oh, and apparently if I don’t take this blog down, it’ll be seen as cyber-bullying and I’ll get in major trouble at school, so there’s that. But really, anything can be seen as cyber-bullying these days, and if revealing to the world that Lois is pregnant is considered bullying, well… That’s ridiculous. That’s like me criticizing the president for golfing, or telling the police department they suck because a serial killer is still at large in our area.

The damage is already done, though. Not sure how suspending me from school will make Lois feel any better.

Going to go ahead and get ready for some sort of Halloween party that Daniel invited me to. Oh, right, Daniel’s the guy who also said that I could sit with his group at lunch. Might post on that later, since one paragraph doesn’t really do them justice (that’s a good thing, guys).

Looking forward to what tomorrow brings.

Last of the Journal Entries

December 20^th, 2011

Ihatemylife

What am I going to do? What is mom going to think? Oh she’s going to be so mad at me oh gosh what have I done?

I told Sarah. She’s one of the few people I trust. She says I need to tell my mom and Will, but oh I really don’t want to tell either of them. Mom will be disappointed and who knows what else she’ll do, and I’m afraid Will is going to run off. I really hope he’s not like that, I hope to God that he’s not, but I just have this gut feeling that when he hears about it he’ll take off.

WhatamIgoingtodo??

December 23^rd, 2011

OhthankGodthankyoulord I talked with Will and he didn’t freak out.

He’s going to stay. I’m confident he will. He said that we’d get through this, that he’s not going to leave me. I hope he means it. But I love him, and I think he will. I really do.

I haven’t told my mom yet, but Will wants to be there when I do. He says that this is important, that we have to treat the situation with care. And oh gosh, I really hope… I really hope I don’t screw this up. I hope my life isn’t ruined by this. Pleasepleaseplease.

January 4^th, 2012

We told mom today.

She’s always been difficult to talk to… always having this vacant look in her eyes, like she doesn’t care anymore. That started about a year ago, when she lost her sister. And… I don’t know, she just hasn’t been the same. Her sister was always there for her, always supportive, and to have that one person vanish from your life...

Will came over around two. The snow was getting bad and the roads were all iced up, so he would have made it sooner but because of that yeah. Mom was in the living room reading her flower book, right next to the fireplace. She was like in one of those Christmas card snapshots or whatever, really beautiful. When she saw us come in she put her book down, and I think she already knew. I could see it in her eyes.

So, we told her what had happened.

I’ll remember that moment for a long time. She just sat there, looking down at hands. The fire was crackling while I could smell the snickerdoodle cookies baking in the oven, and Will’s hand was around mine and it felt like we were a real couple then, it really did. Then mom looked up at us and I think she was… determined, like she had something to do. And she looked at Will and told him that if he ran away, she would find him and drag him back to me wrapped in chains. Will never looked more scared in his life, but he told her that he had no intention of leaving me.

But mom was supportive of us. She wants to help, and I think she feels like she needs to help after what happened to her. I think everything will go well from here on out, I really think so.

February 1^st, 2012

Just had this dream…

I saw this happening, but I felt like it was me. I saw a guy, maybe my age, running through the forest. He kept looking over his shoulder, like he was being followed, and I think he was because the next thing I see is something moving through the forest, something gliding through it, darker than the night. And... this kid must have seen it because he started to run faster and faster, only stopping because he cut himself on a branch, I think. And then that shadow was coming towards him, making long strides, and it finally caught him.

Then I feel like I was rushed forward, like something had taken and moved me, and I was staring at a guy behind a door. He was a prisoner clutching a bouqet of black roses. He looked confused, like he didn’t know what he was doing, and all of a sudden something else was there, something like the shadow that took the boy. It looked just like the prisoner, with his firey hair, but there was something really off. The prisoner looked terrified, backing all the way up against the wall and dropping the bouqet on the ground.

The other one, the thing, I suddenly noticed it had a smile… a smile… something weird, something about it made me want to back away from it. I saw it scoop up the bouqet on the ground with its tattered sleeves, and then it regarded the prisoner again… and I saw the eyes of it, and oh God the eyes they were horrible like you were looking in the dark and seeing something within it but it’s just your imagination and you can’t make it more scary but it is. And then it was gone, it and the bouqet, and the prisoner began screaming, screaming mindless words that I felt like I should know, that I should remember.

And then the scene changed again, and I felt like something had moved me back, like I was taken back in line, or rewound a movie in a theatre. And I saw a girl dancing at prom, but it wasn’t a prom it was just a dance with people in masks all around her, a masquerade, and she was wearing one of her own, a red one with black lace. She was beautiful in a laced red dress and she moved with grace like an angel, and suddenly someone was dancing with her, a man with a mask that covered his face, his black cloak billowing around him. His hand caressed the girl’s face, and suddenly she smiled in pleasure, and I could feel it, like some sort of connection had been made.

The man disappeared into the crowd while the girl in the red dress touched her cheek, laughing to herself. And then I saw it wasn’t a dress but something else, something clinging to her body and slowing running into her, becoming her. And then the mask became her face, and her face became the mask, and she began dancing to a different tune.

Then I was in a place of timelessness, a presence all around me like I felt the world as a lifeforce, and I watched as the first boy moved through a place of death, saw him moving through corridors of shadows. And then there was a hole in the ground, something like a human but I knew it was something else, something exactly like the previous figures, something that clung to the world and would not let go because it would die. And the creature, like the shadow, went to pick the boy up, but the boy threw him away, to the duskwind, but the creature was still there, barely hanging on.

The final part took place within another cell, but not like the other. Two things were there, one a brilliant light but also not a light, and the other a shadow of mist chained to the wall. The light spoke but I could not hear any words, and I suddenly felt drawn to it. I wanted to go to it, to be with it, to embrace it, but then something was wrong. There was something inside that light, something that beckoned like a jewel upon light, but it was dark, darker than the eyes of the one with fire for hair. The light disappeared, and all that was left was the shadow, and the shadow noticed me, noticed me within its cell. It began to laugh, its form changing from pieces of leather surrounding smoke to an old man with smoke for skin and coals for eyes then to a giant of flameiron and back to shadow, and it ripped the chains from the wall, leaping from shadow to shadow until it found one akin to its, and there it took that shadow and made it its own.

… Huh. I don’t remember waking up and writing this, but I found it open to this page this morning. Weird dream… Wish I could remember it.

February 14^th, 2012

Just got home from a date with Will. (: We went out to eat at our favorite place, Gino’s, and afterwards went to the movies. And ohman, traffic was super busy tonight! It took us almost thirty minutes to get across town. And haha, when we got there we find this huge line for the same movie we were going to see, called The Vow… I wish we had gotten to see it, but Will started to get sick right before the movie started. Like, when we were standing in line and waiting to get tickets, he said he’d be right back and hurried off to the bathroom. Poor Will. ): I told him we should just go home and watch a movie and he kept saying no, he wanted today to be special, but I told him that he was more important than a movie. So, we went home and ended up watching Mean Girls. :D

Oh, right! When Will was in the bathroom, I had a surprise visit from Vivian. She came right up to me and started to talk to me as if we were good friends, but... I haven’t spoken with her personally since that time a few months ago when she assaulted me. She didn’t seem violent this time… In fact, she seemed almost friendly. Not in the “Hey, you’re my buddy!” kind of way, but… almost like she was flirting with me, I guess? It could just be my imagination.

… Or maybe not. I don’t know, but… when she was going to leave she gave me a hug and then… Something weird happened. It was like I was being held in place while feeling this… sensation, almost like when I’m near Will and my heart skips a beat. And… oh, I don’t know why, but when Vivian let go of me I wanted to be near her, to feel that sensation again. She gave me this kind of look that seemed to know what I was thinking, and then she just… walked off, like she was only in the theatre to say hello to me. I think it’s just hormones acting up, but… it’s so weird what happened.

---

Not much after that, so I'm guessing this is around the time she lost her journal.

Not as earth-shattering as I thought it'd be, but the dream log reminds me of some of the dreams I've been having.

I don't know what else I'm going to post on this blog after this. Maybe some mundane stuff about life, maybe some rants. Depends on what I feel up to.